hello senior year

ah...i thought I had a game plan coming into this year. I was supposed to be on top of all my work, study hard for GREs, prepare for all my future stuff, and be an anti-social hermit. Unfortunately, I'm behind on my work, haven't taken a single GRE practice test, and am not meeting my goals!

post-college life is looming :(

i don't know if i'm cut out for this stuff.

ah.

must. get. this. done.

old but young (and Taiwan pictures)

Another day older, and officially another year as well haha. Thank you for the birthday wishes everyone! :) I'm thankful for family and friends who make my birthday special, but honestly, I don't really have much interest in celebrating it anymore. One thing I do like about my birthday is that it is in the middle of the year. Along with New Year's, these are the two occasions that I really sit down and think about the past year. It's only during these times that I realize how much has happened and changed during that time.

When I say I'm (we're) getting old, even though we're still young, I mean old in regards to age and maturity (i.e., responsibilities). If I live to be 80, God willing, I'm already more than a quarter done with my life! Especially with senior year coming up, I feel the responsibilities piling up and need to prepare for the future. As my senior pastor always says, we must lead a 준비인생, a ready life. It seems like people aren't really preparing for anything, but taking life for granted, assuming that there always will be a tomorrow or next time. I sometimes wonder if people really take life seriously (this includes myself). If we live for the moment, living for the world, it will always disappoint us. Instead, we must live for that which is not of this world, the only way to true happiness and peace :)

"Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, 'I find no pleasure in them'" [Ecclesiastes 12:1]

Anywho, I have been enjoying my time in Busan, but before coming here, I stopped by Taipei for 6 days and had a very good time! Taiwan has indeed touched my heart (see MV below) <3>

Here are some of my pictores from the trip :)

My hostel, eight elephants, so hard to find! The address is broken down by street, lane, and then alley! I only took one picture, but i would recommend it! Good location, clean, and friendly staff :)

Cutie cynthiar, my tour guide (and peng you). Milk tea with pearls, aka mini bubbles ^^ (honestly regular size bubbles taste better but o well haha and cyn I like Come Buy better too)

Random street near my hostel. I visited the National Palace Museum because I felt like I should. The visit served to confirm the fact that I do not enjoy going to museums haha.

Students performing at Ximen (cynthia described it as the trendy area where all the teenyboppers hang out). Din Tai Fung for its famous xiao long bao, which was indeed very yummy. The staff (along with most Taiwanese ppl) was really friendly too!

Pandas on our heads :) Second pic is from the Shida night market. I love night markets! The cheap yummy food, gajillion stores, people watching...its mad crowded though as you can see from the picture.

Chillin by Bitan bridge at night and Danshui on a drizzly day <3

On a random note, when I started this blog, I meant to update pretty regularly (every few days) with short fun updates about my travels and my life, and maybe a 2-3 pictures per post. I did not not want to have looong entries that were more analytical (some may call this "boring") and took time to scroll through, since I'm usually too lazy to look at those kind entries myself haha. But...thats what my blog has become. Ah well! Hope y'all enjoy it anyway :)

Korean Studies

Growing up Korean in America has been both enlightening and frustrating at times. I was born and raised in the U.S. and speak English fluently, but my "Americaness" has always been questioned. I wasn't sure how to feel about this when I was younger, but have come to better understand it through my studies (and more importantly through faith). While I identified as Korean growing up, it wasn't until senior year of high school that I started getting interested in Korean society (via kpop and kdramas haha). Especially after taking classes on East Asia and Asian American studies, I became interested in more important aspects of Korean culture. As part of the Korean diaspora, I wanted to better understand Korean culture so as to understand "Korean American" culture. While Korean Americans may feel that they don't fully "belong" to Korean or American culture, I am thankful for the somewhat objective or outsider perspective I am able to have on both cultures.

One of my main areas of interest is the Korean diaspora and Korean society. There's definitely a lot of stuff I love about Korea, but there are also many things that make me worried, sad, and disgusted at times. These are some of the Korea related topics I want to explore more in the future:

• gender inequality
• class disparity
  
• hierarchy (sunbae-hoobae system) & the abuse of it
• suicide (highest rates in the OECD)
  
• education & schools (high costs and crazy competition)
  
• regionalism
• the role of military in shaping culture
• sex (industry, affairs, etc.) --> 1 in 10 men in the world have purchased a prostitute, 1 in 5 Korean men pay for sex more than 4 times a month (see more stats on prostitution)
  
• intense working culture (Korean men work the longest hours in the world)
• superficiality (plastic surgery anyone?) & body image
  
• consumerism
  

I've been meaning to use this blog to write more things on my mind (and in my moleskin) and not just post pictures. Okay must go write some papers now :( I shall update with Italy pictures soon and still need to do a food post!

Btw heads up! I shall be coming home May 18-25! Honestly, I was starting to forget home, but am definitely looking forward to going back :) See y'all soon!

Some Belated February Stuff

Liberty department store

I know Valentine's day was a while ago, but I was thinking about it last week. Well, not Valentine's day specifically, but the sisters appreciation events that a lot of guys in Christian groups put together during the Valentine's season. Usually, the evening consists of the boys providing the girls with some sort of food and entertainment. Everyone dresses up and the girls relax while being catered to by the guys.

English Breakfast tea & a salmon sandwich

Btw, the pictures from this entry don't really relate to the text. The photos are from an afternoon tea at the Liberty department store hosted by the Seven College Conference of London for jya students (junior year abroad) from the Seven Sisters schools. There was also one boy there because Radcliff, a former all women's and Seven Sisters college, merged w/ Harvard, so Harvard was also invited. The tea was nice, but honestly, I think we all expected more haha the scones were good though!

scone w/ clotted cream & jam; pouring the tea

Anyway, I've been to a sisters appreciation event before, and I've seen lots of pictures and heard stories about them. Although I enjoyed the event and can appreciate the effort put into them, did you ever think about how this reinforces gender roles? (I know, I know, I'm a sociology major that analyzes everything blah blah)

• Why is it usually the boys doing stuff for the girls? Because girls are more into all that lovey dovey stuff and guys aren't? (related - VDay: An Opportunity to Remind Us That We Are Opposite Sexes)
• If we are going to adhere to socialized gender roles & behavior, why would fellow brothers in Christ be fulfilling the desire of females for romantic stuff?
• If you think about it, its kind of a like a mass date...the boys are showing the girls their potential as future boyfriends --> *cough*senior scramble*cough*
• Why doesn't everyone do an activity together instead of the guys just putting on a show and serving the girls all night? Aren't there activities that involve everyone? Or, is there a need for a special event to show appreciation, or can it simply be shown through how we treat each other everyday?
  

a lot of stuff was already gone by the time I took a picture of the tower

Most importantly, what does this have to do with faith? Isn't Valentine's day a secular, constructed holiday? It doesn't celebrate the love of God, which is not about feelings and hearts. What's the need for these events? Because we might feel too lonely on Valentines day otherwise? God is good all the time, including Valentines day. By clinging to God and living by faith, we can truly know what value is and show appreciation for our fellow brothers and sisters.

Bryn Mawr representin'; shot of the tea room

Perhaps I am over analyzing this. I'm not saying the guys are secretly trying to seduce the girls or have a hidden agenda. I just felt like something was weird about these sisters appreciation events and was thinking about what their purpose is (or the social function they perform a la Gans & poverty). Honestly, I think for most girls, they use events like this as an excuse to get dressed up haha ;)

Mandu Madness

My sleeping patterns have been very messed up since reading week :( I stay up for no reason, missed and have been extra late for class, ay yi yi! I've been way too relaxed about work this semester and feel like I have a lot of catch up to do :/ My classes are interesting so I don't mind the reading, I've just been lazy. Time is going by so fast...I'm planning for Easter break right now, and then classes end, I have exams, and its over!

Things on my mind:

• construction of tradition & romanticized notion of history
  
• normalization of gendered speech and acting (did you know German has a female, male, and neutral nouns?)
• being "cultured" and class discrimination
  

As I previously mentioned, I've been doing a lot of cooking here. Thanks to Aeri's Kitchen and Maangchi, I've been making a lot of Korean food =P And I just found this blog Closet Cooking that makes me want to be more experimental and try new things. My flatmate Pauline took a Chinese cooking class and made beef dumplings for us one night (see above pictures). After that, I was inspired to try! So I used Aeri's kimchi mandu recipe.

Preparing the mandu fillings. Ingredients: veggies, noodles, beef, and, of course, kimchi :)



I ran out of the store bought wrappers and made my own. Mad tedious -_-



Yay my creations! The whitish ones are the store bought wrappers and the rest are made from scratch.



Mandu fail.

You're supposed to freeze them all separately, and then can store them together in a bag. I threw them all in a bag. And now have a giant lump of mandu.



I still had mandu filling left so I made more and this time froze them separately. I also made 2 mini mandus because I can. And they're adorable. :)

Hmm...where to go for break? Sweden? Brussels? Sleep for days? What to do what to do...

"A Continuous Exercise in Self-Defnition"

"Who am I, who are we--is that not the chorus of the moment? Perhaps postmodernism can be defined, after all, as a continuous exercise in self-definition" (Ihab Hassan)

In my Contemporary Trends in the Study of Society class (exciting way to start off the week Mondays at 9 am...), we've been talking about globalization in the context of modern and post-modern, with global being the next stage (or are these all different words for the same thing?). What a long intro sentence. Anyway, although most of the stuff goes over my head, some of the theories have really got me thinking...

• we can't keep up with the speed of the global movement, so we try to hang on to identity (ie, national)
• irony: in post-modernity and globalization, as things come together, they become more fragmented

I've been thinking a lot about this in relation to my "identity" as a Korean American (don't I always?). 250 years ago, an American (US) identity didn't even exist, let alone a Korean American identity. However, the growth of the Korean diaspora has led to the creation of a Korean American identity. For me, the points listed above reinforce the idea that identity is socially constructed and does not have a real basis. However, although identities may be socially constructed, this does not mean that they do not have real and direct impacts.

• "As a culture we call ourselves Spanish when referring to ourselves as a linguistic group and when copping out. It is then we forget our predominant Indian genes. We are 70-80 percent Indian. We call ourselves Hispanic or Spanish-American or Latin American or Latin when linking ourselves to other Spanish-speaking peoples of the Western hemisphere and when copping out. We call ourselves Mexican-Americans to signify that we are neither Mexican nor American, but more the noun "American" than the adjective "Mexican" (and when copping out)." (Borderlands, Gloria Anzaldua)
  

Beyond the politics of a Korean American identity in America, coming to London has made me think about things on an international scale. It's interesting how I feel at home at a Korean restaurant in London but at the same time insecure about my Korean when speaking to the waiter. Meanwhile, the people I met here are often surprised to hear my American accent. Language, food, etiquette, etc...is this culture? Appearance? Blood? History? Geography? Can we choose the cultures that we are a part of? I've met a non-Koreans who are learning korean, watch dramas, and love bibimbap, but can interest in a culture make you a part of it? Or, for Korean Americans, is it more the interactions with non-Koreans and native Koreans that define the Korean American experience? I know I've posed a lot of questions (and can keep going), but what I'm trying to point out is how globalization may have increased the exchange of cultures and ideas, but this exchange has also revealed the instability of these cultures....and I ramble...

In conclusion, "Anyone who isn't confused today, simply isn't thinking straight" (Simone Weil), but if you "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight" (Proverbs 3:26).

Healthy Suspicion

Sometimes, I feel like my mind is buzzing with thoughts. This semester, I finally got me a moleskin notebook, "the legendary notebook" of Hemingway, to furiously scribble down ideas when I'm having one of those moments. I always thought advertising moleskins as legendary was funny. The company tries to lure you in with this idealized vision of writers and artists in the olden days, but in reality its just an overpriced notebook...however, I must admit that I really like the soft cover :)

We often accept what we know to be facts and don't consider their origins, implications, or consequences. My one sociology professor was telling our class how he hopes we will develop a "healthy suspicion" towards the world around us. I think I have been plenty suspicious for a while haha, but I'm not cynical, I'm just bein realisitc :) Anyway, here's a list of some of the random things I've been thinking about that we take for granted:

• Referring to the United States as America - There is no single America, only the continents of North and South America; however, we often assume the U.S. = America.
• Asian - Who is exactly does this refer to? People usually think of Chinese, Japanese, and Korean people, but Indians, Filipinos, _, and many more groups fall under the Asian label. So what exactly do you mean when you say something is so Asian?
  
• APIA History Month - Woohoo! Let's celebrate our Asian heritage...for one month only. What if I want to embrace it all year long?
  
• Describing objects as nude, flesh tone, or skin colored - I often see clothes, shoes, nail polish, etc. described in these terms. Um, everyone's skin is not the same color, just look at one of those diversity posters with hands that are all different shades. So what skin tone are those "flesh colored" bandages referring to?
  

My goal for the rest of this semester is to not have any more life threatening events. Then, I shall hop off to London in January wahoo!